G is for Great Gobs of Gramma’s Grammar Goodies and Goofs

Today is G-Day in the A to Z Challenge. So how about some grammar?

I admit it. I love grammar.

Ever since the third or fourth grade when we had to do those error hunts in our English book, I have loved grammar. Of course, those error hunts are considered so out-of-date now. Even so, some schools persist in this textbook approach.

My daughter knows of my love for grammar and when the grandkids get stuck on their traditional grammar assignments, she calls me to help work through the problems. She knows that Granny Jan knows the answer!

Good Posts on Grammar

I keep a look-out for good posts on grammar. Here are a few of the best I have read or viewed recently.

Writing Techniques

1. Metaphors. Catherine Johnson posts an excellent video of ancient Chinese poems set to music with exquisite background scenery. Scroll down to see the video. It’s 14 minutes long, but well worth watching.

2. Writing for the Web. “What Hemingway Can Teach You About Web Writing” by Robert Bruce.

Editing

1. Edit, edit, edit. “Edit the Blasted Book” by Grace @mosaicmoments.blogspot.com

2. “Change Tense to Highlight Weak Verbs” by Tim Kane.

3.  Change -ly adverbs into active verbs. “Adverbly yours” by Julie Bird.

4. Use commas correctly. “The Comma from Which My Heart Hangs” by Benjamin Samuel.

Common Errors

1. Common errors and grammar Nazis. This 14-year-old blogger has something to say! By Amanda @quirkyblogger.

2. Grammar Goofs That Make You Look Silly . Visual by CopyBlogger and Blue Grass.

3. Common errors. Victoria Grefer’s pet grammar peeves.

Instruction in Grammar

1. Don’t do it like this.  “G is for Grammar Lesson” poem posted by Scott Thorbury. Use this poem in your English class.

2. Watch the prepositions. “Grammar Student Wrestles Bear” by Sharon Doyle.

The Last Meow

Cats have their own grammar, too. Here’s an example: I haz…a happee.

Read about Official Cat Grammar Rules by Anil Dash. You, too, can be a copycat.

But, of course, Grumpy Cat (aka Tardar Sauce) has to have the last word. If it’s not his idea, he doesn’t like it.

A is for Adjectives, Anteaters, Armadillos, and Aardvarks

Welcome to the 2013 A to Z Challenge where bloggers write a series of 26 posts during the month of April.
This year our faithful organizers encouraged hope-filled A-Z participants to develop a theme for posts rather than posting on random topics as many of us did last year.
My theme for this year is . . .

Writing PLUS Grammar You Can See.

Through the month of April, I plan to give examples of how a strong knowledge of grammar can help writers produce more effective writing. More effective writing improves communication.

Along the way, I plan to throw in a cat or two. Sorry, they just have a way of sneaking into my blogs.
And now with a *blast of the trumpet* and a *roll on the snare drum*, we begin with . . .

A is for Adjectives, Anteaters, Armadillos, and Aardvarks

Pigs Little Three
Bad Wolf Big
Little Hood Riding Red

Did you grimace when you read these familiar characters?
Take a common phrase and mix up the adjectives, and it sounds like an off-key prima donna singing an aria at the Met. Our ears tell us something just isn’t right.

Parents read nursery rhymes and classic stories to their wee ones over and over and over and over, a trillion times in parent-count, to calm them at bed-time. At the same time, they unwittingly teach their little sponges unspoken rules for how our language works. Diaper-wearing toddlers learn the order of adjectives as they babble away practicing their early communication skills.

Mom reads The Three Little Pigs.
Rule: Adjectives come before nouns. (They can also be in two other places, but that’s for another post.)
Rule: Number adjectives come before size adjectives

Pattern: Adjective, adjective, adjective noun.

Dad reads Little Red Riding Hood.
Rule: size comes before color.

Children learn these rules seemingly by osmosis so teachers never have to teach about correct order of adjectives in school. Adjective order flows naturally in their speaking patterns without ever having to learn the official linguistic rules.

Order of adjectives is generally only a problem for non-native English speakers whose own language may have a different word order.

And yes, there is a prescribed order for adjectives. If you think about it for a bit, you can probably come up with the rules. But I’ll save you some time and give the order to you here:

1. determiners: a, an, the this, that, these, those his, hers, ours, yours several, ten, some
2. judgment (opinion, observation): beautiful, delicious, obnoxious, immature
3. physical description (fact: size, shape, age, color): small, round, ancient, golden
4. origin: Greek, Italian, Chinese, Mexican
5. composition: cotton, silk, metal, wooden
6. other specific qualifier related to the function or purpose noun . . .men’s clothing, children’s shoes
and finally, ta dah, *drum roll*, the NOUN.

Teacher-pleasing elementary students love to write lengthy sentences loaded with adjectives. Let them have their fun.

Giant, bushy-tailed anteaters with long, sticky tongues and elongated snouts vacuum up their mid-day snack of crunchy, tasty, black ants.

Toothless, armor-plated, Texan and South American armadillos roam around in the pitch-black, moon-less nights but roll up into balls when threatened by ravenous predators.

That chunky African aardvark with the round, stubby, pig-like snout, catches ants with its long, inelegant sticky tongue.

For additional thoughts on order of adjectives, read all about “Frozen Yogurt with Adjectives on Top” by Jan Freeman, author of Ambrose Bierce’s Write It Right: The Celebrated Cynic’s Language Peeves Deciphered, Appraised, and Annotated for 21st-Century Readers. http://throwgrammarfromthetrain.blogspot.com/2012/08/frozen-yogurt-with-adjectives-on-top.html

So what? Who cares? Why do writers have to think about order of adjectives?
Writing instructors say, “Show, don’t tell,” encouraging writers to give more detail in their writing, but writers need to use adjectives more selectively than those eager-beaver elementary students.

William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction, says this about adjectives:

Most writers sow adjectives almost unconsciously into the soil of their prose to make it more lush and pretty, and the sentences become longer and longer as they fill up wih stately elms and frisky kittens and hard-bitten detectives and sleepy lagoons. This is adjective-by-habit — a habit you should get rid of.

Goals for Using Adjectives in Writing
1. Use adjectives selectively. Piles of adjectives bore your readers. They skip over them to get to the action in your story or to the gist of your article. Don’t be like those adjective-abusing, but fun-loving elementary students.  Use fresh, original, surprising adjectives in your writing.
2. Get rid of common adjectives (nice, pretty, lovely, romantic, exciting). They have no place in your writing because they show nothing. Instead practice writing original similes and metaphors. Look for posts on S and M, oops, I mean similes and metaphors in the future. In the meantime, Catherine Johnson posts metaphors and metaphor-generating pictures on “Metaphor Mondays.” Look there for fresh ideas.

The Last Meow

And now a word from Grumpy Cat. Too bad the meme writer didn’t go to school on the day the teacher taught about apostrophes and contractions. Oh well, there’s  always room for another blog post on the proper use of these elementary, confounding constructions.

Oh great. Now the Three Little Kittens are fussing because I haven’t given them any airtime. Sometimes you just can’t win.