The Best of Family Christmases Past

Over the years I have had many wonderful Christmases. But when I think of Christmases past, I think of one picture in my box of old, yellowed, crinkled family photographs, a picture that brings floods of sweet memories of Mom and Daddy and our family Christmas traditions.

Our Christmas ritual began with cutting our own tree. In the early years, on the day before Christmas, we trudged through the snow through our “back forty” over to a nice stand of evergreens just waiting for our annual visit. We took ever so much time going back and forth between the trees considering the merits of each one. The younger kids, Little Bobby, me, Charley, and Judie just ran around making noise and playing hide-n-seek (with maybe a snowball fight or two) while the bigger kids, Beverley, Bill, Shirley, and Adam did the actual tree hunt. Joyce and Joanne were already off working at their jobs, so they missed this fun.

There was one rule on these tree-hunting expeditions: no bickering. We could voice our opinion, but we couldn’t argue.

Even so, Mom always had the last word on the Christmas tree choice. She was very particular. She didn’t want any old scrawny tree.  Her tree had to be just right, nice and plump and tall and rounded on each side, not too tall, and not too short. If a tree was lopsided, we didn’t cut it. If the spaces between the branches were too wide, we didn’t cut it. If the branches weren’t evenly distributed top to bottom, we didn’t cut it. This was not an easy job, but somehow we always managed the find just the right tree to make Mom happy.

Then when we found the perfect tree, the only one that would do, the older boys or Daddy cut it down. We dragged it through the snow back to the house.  But Mom wasn’t ready for it to come in the house. First, the snow had to melt off the tree, and second, we had to clean the house to make it ready for the festivities to come.

Soon enough, we could decorate the tree with strings of colored lights and brightly colored glass ornaments. We placed those on the tree with great care, under Mom’s supervision, making sure that each section of the tree had the correct proportion of the various colors. Sometimes we strung popcorn or cranberries to drape on the tree.

Then the final step. Hanging the silver tinsel. And mind you, this had to be done to Mom’s specifications. We could not just throw the tinsel at the tree and hope for the best. (Only darling Little Bobby could get away with that!) No. If anyone did that, other than Little Bobby, they couldn’t help trim the tree. We had to hang each strand individually, with only a little overhang of one end of the tinsel, so that the other end could hang down long, all shimmery and delightful. And perfect.

When all was said and done, and the kids finally sent to bed, Mom and Daddy wrapped presents that had been hidden somewhere in the house, basement, or garage until the wee hours of the morning.  They probably only got to bed a few hours before we littlest ones woke up eager to start the festivities. We stumbled down the stairs at dawn’s early light to get our first morning look at our beautiful tree and the mounds of presents under it. But we couldn’t open anything yet. That was the rule. We had to wait until Mom and Daddy came downstairs and got some coffee, and Mom had to put the giant turkey loaded with celery, onion, crusty bread, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme in the oven. Ummm, yum.  The smells teased us for hours.

Then we could go at the presents, but only one at a time, mind you. That was the rule.

I remember I wished and wished and wished that I would get a doll for Christmas that year and maybe even a doll cradle or bed.

Christmas Morning (Front: Bill, Little Bobby, and Janice; Back Judie, Charley)

And look, I did get that doll (far right in picture) even a dollie bed. I was one happy little girl. All of us kids got things we treasured. (I remember us kids singing “A Frog Went A-Courting,” on and on, um-hmmm, accompanied by Bill’s new ukulele.)

My doll has long been forgotten, but the precious memories of my parents linger on. Christmas becomes a time of remembering the past with nostalgia and even a bit of sadness…missing our parents who loved us and cared for us, and who worked so hard to provide the shelter, clothing, and food we needed to grow up to be responsible, contributing adults. And now, along with our parents, we miss several siblings, Joyce, Joanne, and Little Bobby who have passed in the past few years. Big families bring great joy throughout our lives, but later in life, as family members pass away, our hearts fill with sadness. Our once big family is shrinking.

Now we siblings all have children and grandchildren of our own, but they are spread far and wide throughout the United States, so Christmas is a lonelier time, and we miss the closeness that shared family traditions bring. Even so, we think of each other and remember our wonderful Christmases past.  There’s nothing better than our Christmas memories…except, that is, for making new ones.

Meow for now… =^;^>=

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Tips for Caregivers of Visually Impaired Persons (VIPs) in Care Settings

Meet my brother, Adam, age 80. He is blind and has been living independently in his own condo until now. With increasing cognitive confusion, balance problems, falls, and general weakness, he can no longer live alone and has moved into an assisted living facility.

Adam at 70 on a camping and hiking trip with Ski-for-Light, an organization that assists visually impaired persons (VIPs) in physical activities.

Adam has lived a full and active live even after losing his sight at age 53 due to detached retinas. He has managed well for these last 27 years, keeping his positive attitude and generally cheerful nature.

But Adam lives in the big, black box of blindness. Imagine what it must be like to move into a new care setting.

Imagine: You live in a black box.  The door to your box opens. A person comes in, makes some random noises, then leaves. Who is that person? What do they want?

Imagine. A person comes in and starts talking. Who are they talking to? To you? To the person in the next bed? The person pricks your finger and leaves.

Imagine. Someone hoists your feet up onto your wheelchair footrest.  Why? Your wheelchair moves. Who is pushing the wheelchair? Where is this person taking you?

Many people check on you during the day in the course of their duties. Who are all these people? What are their names? What are they doing?

***

How would these nonverbal interactions make you feel? Confused? Irritated? Frustrated? Hopeless? Helpless? Depressed? All of the above?

Adam experiences all these feelings regularly. VIPs need lots of verbal interaction in order to become oriented to the care environment. Here’s how you can help.

1. Orient the VIP to people he will encounter each day.

Greet Adam. Identify yourself and your reason for being in his box every time you enter.

Hi Adam. I’m Valerie. I’m here to give your meds.
HI Adam. I’m Sarah. I’m going to check your blood sugar level.
Hey Adam. Simon here. I’m going to move your wheelchair away from this doorway so people can come in.

2. Get to know Adam as a person who has a wealth of experiences. Take a few minutes to engage him in conversation.

Our family posted some pictures in his box, and these became conversation starters for people who came in.

Hello. My name is Adam.
I am blind.
Please tell me your name.
You can kid around with me.

The speech therapist saw this next picture and asked about it.

Peaches

Therapist.  Oh, is that your dog? He’s really cute.
Adam. Yes. Her name was Peaches. She had cancer and died. (Peaches was a big part of his life in his early blindness. Adam still chokes up when he talks about her.)
Therapist. Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. I bet you loved that little dog.

This therapist made a personal, empathetic connection with Adam in this short conversation. She treated Adam like a person with feelings.

Brief interactions with Adam make him feel comfortable in new surroundings, and these new caregivers soon become friends. Personal connections are critical to the successful orientation of VIPs.

3. Wear your name tag every day.

Adam can’t read your nametags, but family and friends can. It’s hard for them to remember all the personnel who interact with Adam every day. Help them out. Wear your name tag. And post your name on a whiteboard in the room. Family members can help Adam remember your name and your role in his care.

Next tip coming soon: Orient the VIP to Place.

Meow for now… =<^;^>=

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WP Photo Challenge: Reflections

Daily Post: WordPress: Reflections 

Shooting into the sun produces silvery reflections on the water and sharp silhouettes on land.

Six Lakes, North Fort Myers, Florida

The Last Meow…

Reflections. Yes. This is a lovely reflection of me, don’tcha think? I am thinking of entering a beauty contest. I am sure I will win. Just look at my glossy coat, my fine white whiskers, my demure manner, and my sweet personality. Perfection.

Photo credit: The Creative Cat

And here are some more kitty reflections…

Meow for now.  =<^;^>=

And here are some more reflections:

Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections « sianakdesa

• Thirteen Things Thursday: Blogging Inertia | that cynking feeling

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections | Spiritual World Traveler

• Christmas Reflections « SimplySage

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections | An Evil Nymph’s Blog

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections | A Taswegian in Finland

• A damp start | The View From the Back Door

• shaded « yi-ching lin photography

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections « Creative Escape

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections (late!) | 12 Books in 12 Months

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections | Bams’ Blog

• Introducing Hipstamatic Assignments and Assignment #1 | Lu’s Pix

• Winter Wonderland | shutter + bliss

• WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE: REFLECTIONS | Patricia Sands’ Blog

• Weekly Photo Challenge: Changing Seasons « Beijing Daily Photo 2

• Symmetry in Photography « Raven Photography UK

WP Photo Challenge: Let There Be Light

WordPress Photo Challenge: Lights

I love the interplay of light on leaves…

 

 

 

Elderly, Blind, and Living in a Big Black Box

My brother, Adam, 80-years-old, blind, and wheelchair bound, lives in a big black box with perpetually dimly lit windows. He can see the large square of light where the window in his room is, but he cannot see me or a shadow of me sitting two feet away. Every day he tells me that his eyesight is getting worse, and that he must go see the eye doctor. (The eye doctor has already told him that nothing can be done about his eyes at this point. Adam’s vision loss is due to retina detachments that occurred in his 50s.)

Until recently, Adam has lived a very active and full life even with his blindness. He lived alone in his own condominium, receiving only minimal outside help from a once-a-week cleaning person and from his two sisters (Beverley and me) who ran errands for him, helped him shop for groceries, and took him to medical appointments. He rode the CATS (Cumberland Area Transit System-NJ) bus to the Enrichment Center for the Blind in Bridgeton, NJ, several days a week to join other visually impaired persons in activities and camaraderie.

Even while blind, Adam camped, hiked, and climbed mountains in Colorado. He went cross-country skiing in Michigan and Alaska with an organization called Ski-for-Light. You can read about his skiing adventure here: VIP – Visually Impaired Person in the News Again.

Adam (left) cross-country skiing with Ski for Light buddies

When Adam had a bit more vision, he walked around his community for miles and miles using his white cane. He knew the bus system well and could get himself to various places for workshops and appointments, even those an hour away from his home.

A Fall, Hospitalization, and Rehab

Most recently, Adam has been living in a short-term rehab facility after he had a bad fall at home. He did not break any bones in the fall but seriously scraped his arm, and it bled profusely because of blood thinners he is on due to a heart condition. At the hospital, the doctors determined that he had an irregular heart beat and implanted a pacemaker. After his hospital stay, he went to the rehab facility for five weeks of physical and occupational therapy.

Today, Adam will be moved from his current placement in a rehab facility to long-term care in an assisted living facility. The therapists who work with him in the rehab center have determined that under Medicare guidelines, he no longer benefits from physical therapy, and therefore his therapy will stop.

At this point, Adam is unable to live independently and probably never will again. At care level 5 and wheel chair bound, he needs assistance with everyday living activities: medications, bathing, toileting, shaving, dressing. He does not need assistance with eating, except to have his food or utensils unwrapped. His balance is not good, and he is at high risk for falling.

We found a placement for him in a very pleasant long-term care facility. He will have to drain his life savings and investments to pay his expenses as Medicare will no longer cover his care. His house must be sold. His daughter now has his Power of Attorney (POA), and now she has to make financial decisions for him. Of course, Adam thinks that he can still make decisions for himself, when sadly, he cannot.

At 80, Adam is quite sharp, but not every day. Some days he confuses facts, memories, dreams, and reality. (He always knows that Obama is the President!) He worries and asks questions like:  “Where will I sleep tonight?” He tells me that he is missing work and that his boss needs him. (He retired twenty-five years again because of his vision disability.) Then he tells me that he needs to call his boss and tell him he is retiring because he is too old to work.  He worries that he can’t find the keys to Mom’s house (Mom passed away in 2000 and her house was sold). He said, “Daddy’s car is parked at the high school, and I need the keys to go get it before the kids vandalize it.”

New worries pop up every day or so. He misplaces things then accuses people of stealing them. Later, when these missing things turn up in another place in his room, he says, “They brought it back because they knew I was mad.”

On good days, Adam can joke around with the best of them. Several aides in his previous facility respond to his joking manner and joke right back at him, bringing instant broad smiles to his face. He has a good attitude and knows well that his attitude affects others. He repeats his philosophy: “If you are nice to people, they will be nice to you.”

He dreams and his dreams become real, yet he has enough logic to figure that out. One day he asked me, “Who were all those people who were at the house last night?” I responded, “Which house?” He thought a few seconds and said, “Well, it couldn’t have been Mom’s house, because we sold that. And it wasn’t my house. Whose house was it? Did I just dream that?”

One day, the therapist told us, he sat on his bed trying to call his sister Joanne and got very agitated when a phone message told him her line had been disconnected. (Joanne passed away in June from complications with diabetes.)

On days when he seems confused, he gets very agitated. We listen, but we do not try to correct him, rather we try to distract him with another topic.

He has a hard time locating himself in space. He reaches out with his hand to feel around for his bed or his glass of water. He gets easily disoriented, so sometimes he does not know where he is. He also does not know who all those people are that come in and out of his room.

Assisting the Visually Impaired in Care Settings

In the six weeks that Adam has been in the hospital and in rehab facilities, I have noticed that most aides have little training in assisting a blind person, so I am starting a series of posts on tips for caring for VIPs in hospital and other care settings. The first post should be later this week: Tips for Caring for Visually Impaired Persons (VIPs): Orientation to People

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WP Photo Challenge: The Unexpected Lady

NaBloPoMo – December. Post every day in December.

I parked in a different place than usual when I visited my brother one cold and gloomy November day. He wasn’t home, so I sat in my warm car waiting. As I sat, I scanned the neighborhood looking for potential blog photos and found this unexpected sight in the neighbor’s backyard behind my brother’s condominium.

I went closer to the fence to get a better view.

Daily Post: WordPress Photo Challenge: Unexpected

The Last Meow (from the cats, of course!)

Here’s an unexpected photo. Look who happens to be in the background of this photo of me. You’d think the photographer would have focused better on me since I was the true center of attention. Humans! What can you expect?

Photo credit: etsydotcom

Meow for Now.  =<^;^>=

Silent Sunday: Advent Week 1…Preparing for the Birth of Christ

December 1 – Advent Week 1.

The Old Testament patriarchs prophesied about the coming of the Messiah and that gave the Israelites hope. Week 1 of Advent focuses on preparing for the birth of Christ, and in church, we light the first candle (Hope) in the Advent wreath. We then light one candle each Sunday until Christmas.

What are some of your church’s or your family’s holiday traditions?

(Post 1 in December NaBloPoMo.)

NaBloPoMo 30: Fetta Komplett: Finished!

NaBloPoMo 30. The official last post of this challenge. This has been a fun run.

I tried to add a little spice with Nano Poblano.

One of my favorite things about blogging is meeting new bloggers. I load up on categories in my WordPress Reader and find new friends through NaBloPoMo, Cee’s Fun Foto Challenges, WordPress Weekly Photo Challenge, Weekly Travel Theme, A to Z Challenge, Blog Every Day, Book Reviews, and a few more.

I enjoy getting comments and “likes” from my faithful visitors. That is so encouraging.

One comment from Soesterbror at http://brorsadu.wordpress.com had me chuckling. She told me about her great-grandmother…

our lovely Great-grandmother (1888-1992) from Northern Norway said: “Fetta Komplett,” and maybe believed she spoke French.

I commented back that her comment made me think of my dear own little French grandmother, “Grannie,” who mixed English and French when she spoke to us kiddoes. I remember her clear as day, standing in front of her old wood-fired cook stove, with the family dogs Nellie, Queenie, Daisy, and Fluffy scattered around on the kitchen floor hoping for a bite to eat. Dada sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.

I don’t remember my Grannie saying “Fetta Komplett,” but my high school French told me that maybe “fetta komplett” meant the same as “fait accompli” or “job finished.” Sure enough, Soesterbror confirmed that.

So, today, I can say “Fetta Komplett” because I have finished my last post for NaBloPoMo 2013.  Now on to the next challenge!

In the meantime, I want to thank my most faithful commenters. Your comments always made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my posts. And I have enjoyed looking at your posts, too. (Sorry Soesterbror, I can’t read yours! Special thanks for writing your comments to me in English. )

Linda Adams  http://garridon.wordpress.com/
Addercatter   http://addercatter.wordpress.com
Nina Amir  http://howtoblogabook.com/
Marilyn Armstrong at http://teepee12.wordpress.com
Blogagaini at http://blogagaini.com
Melissa K. Brander    http://mkbrander.com
Tami Clayton   at http://tamiclayton.com
Dawn at http://lingeringvisions.wordpress.com
Sheri de Grom at   http://sheridegrom.com/
Dhriti at  bloggingvlogging@outlook.com
nancyrae4 at  http://nancyhdoyle.com/
Cee Neuner  at http://ceenphotography.com
Sara Foster at http://www.sarafoster.com.au/the-blog/
frizztext at http://flickrcomments.wordpress.com/
Gaurab at Processing the Life
Glorious Mettle  http://gloriousmettle.wordpress.com
Ellen Gregory
Festival of Leaves    http://festivalofleaves.wordpress.com
Vicky Inglis   http://longingtostray.wordpress.com
Isadora at http://isadoraartandphotography.com/
Danny James  https://raleighcatdaddy.wordpress.com
Helen Jameson  http://helenjameson.wordpress.com
RFL Jenksy  http://rfljenksy.wordpress.com
Karen Mulhern  http://smallhouseBigGarden.wordpress.com
K. C. Lee
Lynne at http://Lynnesartandsoul.wordpress.com
Kim Ulmanis  http://kimulmanis.com
Kim13 at  http://kh1313.wordpress.com/
Kylie at http://thelifeofkylie.wordpress.com
MarneyMae at http://marneymae.wordpress.com
Melissa  at http://mkbrander.com/  
Nancyrae4 at Http://nancyhdoyle.com
Nytxjx.com
Joanna Henley at http://www.ojosworld.com/
Open lab 2  at http://openlab2.wordpress.com
Ordibild.com  http://ordibild.com In the Middle of the Night
http://Pleisbilongtumi.wordpress.com
Liv Rancourt  http://livrancourt.com
Soester at http://brorsadu.wordpress.com
Sue at ismbishop.aol.com
Shrimp (the kat) at http://hairballexpress.wordpress.com
Cheri Speak  at http://cherispeak.com
Jack Steiner
Jodi Lea Stewart
taikakivi
Teresa  at http://www.thefatcactus.com
Bruce Thiesen   http://brucekthiesen.wordpress.com
Tina Schell at http://travelsandtrifles.wordpress.com/
Cathy Ulrich  at http://largeself.wordpress.com
Verena Cave  at http://verenacave.wordpress.com/
Irene Waters   http://IreneWaters19.wordpress.com
Wise Monkeys Abroad at http://wisemonkeysabroad.wordpress.com
Woolymuses   at http://woolymuses.wordpress.com
Zeke Chronicles   http://thezekechronicles.wordpress.com

And special thanks also to all those who stopped by and “liked” my blog. It would take me quite awhile to post the links to all of you…and it’s getting late. So I will post my links to you at another time.

NaBloPoMo 27. Fragrant Anniversary Roses…One Week Later

My husband brought home the most beautiful deep yellow/peach hued roses last week for our anniversary. Their fragrance was exquisite, and they looked beautiful in an old cut-glass vase in the center of my dining-room table.

But, alas, the life of a cut flower is short. So today, as I looked at the beautiful wilted petals and drooping roses, I realized they still had a lovely fragrance. I pulled off the petals and put them in a bowl on my table.

I decided to try making a rose potpourri, so I looked for recipes on Internet. Here are several I found.

• How to Make Homemade Potpourri: Two recipes
• How to Make Homemade Potpourri: Don’t Toss Those Flowers!

I’ll let you know how my potpourri turns out. In the meantime, I can still enjoy the color and fragrance of my anniversary gift. That makes me happy. Thanks, Dear.

The Last Meow

Happy Anniversary, Missy Jan.

I love yellow roses, too. They make me feel happy.

Meow for now. =^;^=

P.S. Here’s a blog I like: Beth Nyland, Make Something 365. Lots of interesting things going on there!

 

NaBloPoMo 24. WP Photo Challenge: Unexpected at Church

Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected

 Shhh… for a little added spice….

…

Unexpected: bike in church with church bulletin riding tandem

The Last Meow…

I guess you didn’t expect this either, huh, Missy Jan?

WooWee. Way to go.
From Elsie the Library Cat FB page.

Meow for now.  =^:^=

Here are a few more unexpected responses:

Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected | Travel Monkey
Here are Your Favorites! | I see beauty all around by rob paine
Mistress of the Unexpected | Travel with Intent
Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected | Purple Rosemary
Squirrels: Armed with an appetite | Procurrent
Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected | Isadora Art and Photography

Unexpected: Weekly Photo Challenge | The Human Rights Warrior
Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected | small house/BIG GARDEN
Weekly Photo Challenge – Unexpected | Travels and Trifles

landmark | yi-ching lin photography

Weekly Photo Challenge~Unexpected | joannebest

Weekly Photo Challenge – Unexpected | alien shores

Making contacts, marketing, and overcoming obstacles. | whyyouwanna

Unexpected | With blackberry wine

Tea for the Sickly | Broken Light: A Photography Collective
Weekly photo challenge – Unexpected 2 – Starring the knitted deer. | The numpty with a camera and a laptop
WPC – Unexpected | Photography & Writing
Weekly Photo Challenge: Unexpected | Andy in Oman
THE DAILY POST WEEKLY PHOTO CHALLENGE: Unexpected | FATHERSUNNY